The Disappointment Zone

Musings from a Cleveland sports fan

What’s the matter with Kansas? Week 3

Posted by disappointmentzone on 19 September 2007

What’s the matter with Kansas? is the Disappointment Zone’s weekly report on the voting of the 65 media members who cast ballots in the AP Top 25 College Football Poll.

Close readers will notice that last week’s edition of WTMWK? was labeled the Week 3 edition. Not so close readers will notice that this week’s edition is also labeled Week 3. Why’s that? It’s because of the stupid preseason polls, which the AP publishes and which represent the beginning of these strange voting exercises even though the season has not yet begun. So this is the fourth week the AP has published its Top 25 but only the third week of the season. In an effort to erase the preseason polls out of existence we are now going by the weeks of the season rather than the weeks of the AP poll. Consider this Week 3 redux.

Thanks in large part to an impressive second half performance against Washington this past Saturday the Ohio State Football Buckeyes received a nice bump in the AP Top 25, climbing from #10 to #8, overcoming both Wisconsin and keeping pace with a rising Penn State. OSU is now the highest ranked Big Ten team in the nation. (1) And to whom does OSU owe this great honor?

The Best Media Members This Week:

Tom Keegen of the Lawrence Journal, who ranked OSU #5.

Alex Abrams of the Morning News, who ranked OSU #6.

Chuck Banning of The Day of New London, who ranked OSU #6.

Daveid Birkett of the Oakland Press, who ranked OSU #6.

Eric Hansen of the South Bend Tribune, who ranked OSU #6.

John Heuser of the Ann Arbor News, who ranked OSU #6.

Myron Patten of KOKH-TV in Oklahoma City, who ranked OSU #6.

Ray Rotto of the San Francisco Chronicle, who ranked OSU #6.

Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News, who ranked OSU #6.

Tom Keegan keeps ranking OSU higher than anyone else in the country. This is his third consecutive week ranking OSU in the top 5 and third consecutive week being the Best of the Best Media Members. ….. This is the highest number of Best Media Members this season ….. With the votes of Mr. Birkett and Mr. Heuser the not-so-grand state of Michigan was fully committed to being in the legion of the Best ….. Once again Ohio is unrepresented in the Best, thus confirming our good Midwestern ethic of humility ….. Ray Rotto also returns to the list; he dropped off last week after inexplicably dropping OSU to #11 on his ballot ….. John Hunt fell from the Best after dropping OSU to #7.


Last week Jon Wilner earned two-time Douche status by ranking OSU #24 (he previously had them unranked). Clearly he has no interest in getting himself off this inglorious list.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Douche of the Week:

Jon Wilner of the San Jose Mercury News, who ranked OSU #14.

Mr. Wilner also ranked South Carolina #4 in the country. His voting privileges should be revoked.


Since no one in their right mind could have put Michigan on their ballot this week — Notre Dame is seriously in the battle for worst football team in the universe — there was only one way to make it onto the list of lesser douches and that’s by ranking OSU lower than anyone other than the Douche. Fortunately the list is short.

Lesser Douches of the Week:

Pete DePrimio of the Fort Wayne Press, who ranked OSU #13.

Steve Batterson of the Quad City Times, who ranked OSU #13.

Jay Tate, who was the first ever two-time Lesser Douche, bumped OSU to #11 on his ballot. The obvious reason Mr. Tate moved OSU so much higher on his ballot (they were #19 last week) is the fear of being a three-time Lesser Douche.

fn 1: And since a losing to Duke (Northwestern) is more impressive than beating Notre Dame (Michigan), Michigan is still the lowest ranked team in the Big Ten in the only poll that really matters: the hearts of OSU fans.


One Response to “What’s the matter with Kansas? Week 3”

  1. kiddicus said

    I can’t say that the Bucks have impressed me too much this year. They are making do with what few resources they have, but I figured games against YSU, Akron and Washington would be blowouts. I guess all in all they’ve stood their ground and played like a #8 team, but I can’t justify putting them into the top 5 any time this season.

    Beside Purdue, Penn State and Wisconsin, who do we really play?

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