The Disappointment Zone

Musings from a Cleveland sports fan

Peter King weighs in and the hope is for average

Posted by disappointmentzone on 30 August 2006

Sports Illustrated football writer Peter King has gone through the schedules of every team in the NFL and has projected the best-case scenarios for all 32 teams in terms of wins and loses. How high should Browns fans be setting their standards?

8-8.

Here is how Mr. King sees the Browns doing, at best, each week.

Week 1: New Orleans: Win
Week 2: Cincinnati: Loss
Week 3: Baltimore: Win
Week 4: Oakland: Win
Week 5: Carolina: Loss
Week 6: Bye: Kellen Winslow not injured in freak Segway accident (win)
Week 7: Denver: Loss
Week 8: New York Jets: Win
Week 9: San Diego: Loss
Week 10: Atlanta: Loss
Week 11: Pittsburgh: Loss
Week 12: Cincinnati: Loss
Week 13: Kansas City: Win
Week 14: Pittsburgh: Loss
Week 15: Baltimore: Win
Week 16: Tampa Bay: Win
Week 17: Houston: Win

OK, Peter King did not write about Winslow avoiding a career-threatening injury during the bye week. I made that up.

Should Mr. King’s forecast prove accurate, here is what I estimate the emotional barometer will read each week in Cleveland:

Week 1: New Orleans: Sunny Optimism
Week 2: Cincinnati: Mild Contentment
Week 3: Baltimore: Pleasant Bouyancy
Week 4: Oakland: Bistering Confidence
Week 5: Carolina: Vague Paranoia
Week 6: Bye: Kellen Winslow not injured in freak segway accident: Relief
Week 7: Denver: Loss: Disgruntlement
Week 8: New York Jets: Win: Marginally Reassured
Week 9: San Diego: Loss: Disappointment
Week 10: Atlanta: Loss: Furious Wrath
Week 11: Pittsburgh: Loss: Sheer Rage
Week 12: Cincinnati: Loss: Bitter Anger
Week 13: Kansas City: Win: Pessimistic Incredulousness
Week 14: Pittsburgh: Loss: Severe Depression
Week 15: Baltimore: Win: Minimal Satisfaction
Week 16: Tampa Bay: Win: Tempered Joy
Week 17: Houston: Win: Sunny Optimism

What do I actually think the emotional barometer will read each week?

Week 1: New Orleans: Sunny Optimism
Week 2: Cincinnati: Mild Contentment
Week 3: Baltimore: Borderline Depression
Week 4: Oakland: Hopeful
Week 5: Carolina: Utter Despondence
Week 6: Bye: Winslow IS injured in a freak Segway accident: Outright Indignation with a touch of Bewilderment
Week 7: Denver: Hopelessness
Week 8: New York Jets: Guarded Cheerfulness
Week 9: San Diego: Annoyed
Week 10: Atlanta: Confused and Searching
Week 11: Pittsburgh: Sheer Rage
Week 12: Cincinnati: Bitter Anger
Week 13: Kansas City: Hopeless
Week 14: Pittsburgh: Suicidal
Week 15: Baltimore: Dead
Week 16: Tampa Bay: Deader
Week 17: Houston: Disgruntled Assuagement

In other words, I see the team going 4-12.

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4 Responses to “Peter King weighs in and the hope is for average”

  1. Soccer Spot said

    First: I think the Browns will be semi-decent aka 6-10. There’s no room in the NFL for decent much less it’s half-brother semi.

    Second: Why are there *two* guys on that second segway?

    Third: When you’re “Confused and Searching,” what will you find before Pittsburgh dismantles you? I think it will be another vat of ice cream to cry in.

  2. There aren’t two guys on the second segway. It’s only Kellen Winslow.

    A vat of ice cream is nice, but I think it’ll be something more along the lines of a strong belief in a godless universe.

  3. […] At 0-2, the Browns seem to be following more closely the path I thought they would take rather than the path Peter King thought they could take, which is to say that the Browns stink and the outlook is grim. I thought the team would finish 4-12, but I had one of those wins against New Orleans. Now I’m scrambling to find which team could replace the Saints. Carolina has underperformed. Maybe the Panthers will piss away their season and the Browns will recapture that victory in week five, but I wouldn’t bet on it. The real hope for victory number four is in week 16 against Tampa, although I imagine the Bucs will by that point be averaging more than 1.5 points per game. Even more worrisome is that the AFC North is quickly presenting itself as arguably the best division in football. The Bengals, Steelers, and Ravens can all make legitimate claims for the postseason, while the Browns, at this point, look poised to make a claim for a top five draft pick. In fact, if the team reaches week 16 with only three wins I will certainly be rooting for the old “good showing” rather than an actual victory, much like I’m doing now with the Indians, although for different reasons (higher draft pick, Carthon being fired). […]

  4. No MORE! said

    I can be honest and say 0 and 16! Just sell the team and let the people of Cleveland enjoy Ohio State and the best High School football in the country…Get RID OF THE BROWNS!

  5. […] Top Posts Ohio State Football Buckeyes predictionsAJ Hawk: Moral man, fashionistaPeter King weighs in and the hope is for averageOSU #4The final word on Laura and AJ, maybeGoodbye, Roger BrownLeBron #1More on Reghi, commentators in generalAJ Hawk ties knotCharlie Frye: QB Score: Week 7 […]

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